Whimsical and Nerdy Goals (I can dream right?)

     Two days ago I posted 30 Fun Goals for 2014 mostly covering music, books, writing, and various little things I've always wanted to try. This year is looking to be quite the busy year full of school, work, and, hopefully, personal growth. However, despite my wonderful list I've made, there are a few other little goals that are either insensible or I simply don't have a lot of time for this year (though, I'd love to get through these goals- except maybe the first haha). I'd love to share these whimsical "goals" because they show a bit of insight into the nerdy me:

1. Play more video games: especially Minecraft, Lego Harry Potter, and Infinity Blade. Plus I would love to check out Shadows of Mordor when it comes out (geeky side right there. Love LoTR and the graphics on that game look great, exactly the kind I like)
2. Dress more artistically at least a couple times a week- this is a big one, that I will in all honestly likely dip in and out of it throughout this year. I just need to get up the guts to wear what I want to.
3. Buy Harry Potter Wizarding Collections (this will likely never happen considering it is $400! But my little fan heart can dream, right?)
4. Sew my own dresses, at least a simple black one that fits me perfectly and attractively and can be used at most seasons of the year (we're talking Michigan seasons here haha- cold!)
5. Learn to skateboard- childhood dream right here :)
6. Do more DIYs. This is a biggy seeing as I have many little things I want to do, particularly concerning my room: curtains, painting my room, artwork or display wall, and the list goes on.
7. Discover more music- indie, folk, ect. I love music and really hope to add a few more favorite artists this year
8. Buy or make more flower crowns: I love these so much! I own one, but I'm hoping to buy a really big one someday :)
9.  I must go to the Renaissance festival. There's no doubt about it, this must happen. I'll likely go with just my friends this year. Last year I went with my family, and it was so much fun! But the big thing about this year is that I want to finally buy a corset, and I would love to buy a cloak. And a sword and armor, but those won't happen. ;)
10. Read 100 books this year!

     Obviously these don't take priority in life. I mean seriously, more video games? ;P But some, like sewing and dressing more to my taste are ones that I would love to build into this year. If I don't, then these are taking top priority next year!

30 Fun Goals for 2014

     I saw on Her Library Adventures, a blog I follow, a fun little list of 30 Fun Goals to do this year. She did a similar list for last year. And I absolutely love the idea! So I created my own list of 30 Fun Goals for 2014. Some of them require building habits day to day, week to week, and others are just things I want to do this year- one time, check, activities.

1. Go to the concert of a folk/indie band: I would love if it was The Vespers, Lyric Everly, or Jenny and Tyler, but most of my favorite bands just toured in Michigan last year. :( However, I just found out that Lorde is coming here next month! I don't love her music, but it definitely has been categorized as indie and the music part (not the lyric part) is pretty good :)
2. Learn the ukulele
3. Read minimum 25 (high goal of 50) classics
4. Read more non-fiction
5. Spend less time surfing Internet, more time being productive
6. Journal more
7. Take more pictures and PRINT my pictures (I never print my pictures and wish I did, especially for hanging on the walls in collages)
8. Make 3 art pieces (we are talking finished, big art pieces here)
9. Do Devotions everyday
10. Doodle more- fill my small sketchbook (crazy idea!)
11. Fill one notebook (writing notebook, which is, of course, different than a drawing notebook)
12. Eat more healthy foods- don't munch on unhealthy foods
13. Girls night sleepover, cut out magazines
14. Lord of the Rings extended edition marathon
15. Read all Jane Austen's novels
16. Go to Liz's Bookstore and sift through the stacks, finding books
17. Get up early
18. Go to Rhema's, the coffee shop in Flint
19. Start writing the book I would want to read
20. Drink tea more often
21. Have tea with someone- proper tea party either at home or Sweet Thymes in Hartland
22. Go to a midnight premiere! (I'm thinking the last Hobbit installation hehe)
23. Get a tattoo
24. Get more piercings (cardilage, nose, third piercing?)
25. Find a nice pair of leather riding boots
26. Make bread
27. Cook 1 meal every week
28. Make ice cream
29. Road trip (would love to go to Kentucky to my relatives or my best friend's, Sarah's, house)
30. Learn some of my favorite songs on the piano:
• Dawn from Pride and Prejudice
• Hedwig's Theme
• Downton Abbey- The Suite
• Colors of the Wind

     Evidently, reading is heavily featured here. I've realized I have read very few of the classics I own, and since working at the local library, I have begun to discover the gems in non-fiction. Number 16 on the list is crossed out because I just recently did it! I discovered that I own a lot of the classics I want to read. Therefore, I hope to move from collecting classics to reading them aggressively. :) At Liz's I found some great contemporary books: Water for Elephants, One Day, and The Notebook, to name a few.
     So far cooking one meal a week has gone down unsuccessfully, but I won't put too much pressure on myself. I still have eleven months left, and I likely won't finish everything on this list. Nonetheless, this being the last day of January has made me realize I have very little time left until I turn eighteen. It's been my goal to read all of Jane Austen's novels and Little Woman before I become an adult. I have less than 4 months! Yikes! Right now I'm reading Emma and Les Miserables (oh my goodness, amazing!)
     And that's it! 30 Fun Goals for this year. I look forward to the rest of the year so much. :)

I Should do this... but I Want to Do...Balancing the Two?!?!?!

Goals for 2014 to do a bit of everything

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      I feel like I've been missing out on life lately. I've missed doing fun little things that I really enjoy. I haven't been listening to the music I really like. I haven't been reading YA romances. I haven't been spinning in circles, laughing. All my life has been lately is very serious stuff. My focus has been feeling guilty about not getting much homework done, doing my best at work, and feeling guilty about not reading enough classics. I guess I'm tired of feeling guilty about things that are fun and not bad when I should just enjoy them; laugh with the earth, dream, dance, dwell on pleasant things. Everything that I should be doing I fool myself into thinking I really want to. And I guess in a way I do. I want to read more classics. I want to listen to classical music (I really do like it). I want to do really well at work and constantly be working hard and getting lots done. After all I would love for the library to be clean and organized. I want to eat healthy because I like fruits and veggies. I want to do my homework because I like learning.

     But I also want to listen to Katy Perry, Lyric Everly, Jenny and Tyler, The Vespers, and Disney songs. I want to wear dresses more often. I want to dream of pretty little things: cute tea cups, flower fields, and a good book. I want to go back to my love of bohemian style.
     Basically my life isn't very well balanced with things I want to do and things I need to do. So here are some simply written goals for 2014:

1. Wake up earlier
2. Listen to fun music more often
3. Do more homework
4. Read more good books: a mix of classics and YA
5. Do my devotions each morning or night
6. Drink more tea
7. Write in my journal more often- this is a big one
8. Attempt to write more blog posts (:P haha)
9. Evaluate when I really need to be on the internet and when I could be doing something better, but yes, let myself go on the computer a little bit each day.
10. Print out more pictures and things I find from the internet and build an inspiration collage on my wall

    Then there are a few things I really want to do soon to feel more at home in the kind of room I want to live in:

• Paint my room. What color should I paint it?
• Completely organize my closet
• Draw with the new media I just got for Christmas

An Update on Life: Softball, First Day of Work, and Books

     Well, I obviously haven't written on this blog in a while, and last I did I was terribly behind in sharing my list of one thousand things I'm thankful for. So, I'm attacking this from a different way.
     Life's been pretty busy lately with work (finally begun!), school (terribly behind), softball (undefeated so far!), and life in general. Most days I wake up running and go to bed as soon as possible- which doesn't leave much time to write a blog post. Since I still want to share all the days I've written out the gifts God has given me, I will be posting them as often as I can. I often get spurts of inspiration to write up tons of post and post them in a day. Instead, I'll write up all those post and post one each day until the next inspiration hits. There will still be days where nothing goes up since I tend to have a sporadic schedule. I think for now I just need to focus on some other things before I can commit to a schedule with posting. I know I also need to give myself the freedom to post whatever I want to- even if I'm behind in sharing my list. In this way I hope to give you a bit more than a ton of posts one day and then none the next two weeks haha.
     As for a more thorough update on life: I just had my official first day of work a week ago and really enjoyed it! I love my boss! She's totally awesome and quite funny as she's a rule breaker. :o haha Plus, she likes Enya. Bonus points right there! :) Right now my room is quite a mess, as usual, but I'm trying to clean it up. Read: I need to do loads and loads of laundry. And I need to sort through papers- it's crazy how many I collect. As for school, I'm behind, but finishing things up. I hope to be done with two classes in a few weeks. I don't know how I'm going to finish lit class anytime soon. :P Another thing going on is that funding for my missions trip is rolling in. I'm so thankful to everyone that has sent money so far!!! And I ask that everyone keep praying that God continues to work in me. I've been slacking on devotions and need to pick that up pronto.
     Lately I've been missing my friend Jess W. and have felt the desperate need to get together with her to just chat. It's sad that she's in college group and I'm not. :( We definitely have to work harder on getting together to catch up. Thankfully, I have the opportunity to do so tomorrow for 8 hours. Yah! I want to catch up so bad that I'm going to miss the youth group event of going to Comedy for a Cause and instead go with her when we drop our siblings off and pick them up.
     Softball: we are undefeated still! Last Monday we had a practice and that finally got me back in the swing of things. I was feeling so off when batting up until that night when I finally got it again. Tonight I hit every hit real good. :) And I made it to first and beyond. I don't think I got out at all! Yahoo! So softball's going quite well, though I can feel that my running isn't as good as last year's since I'm more out of shape. :P
    I believe the last thing I would like to say is that I finally got my books for Battle of the Books, and I already finished one: Seabiscuit. It was quite good. The cool part was feeling the exhilaration of horse racing, which I know I could never do since I'm not anywhere near small enough to be a jockey- too tall. This book was one of the first to really make me identify with the quote that says something along the lines of readers can live a thousand lives. I feel as though I really lived the life of a jockey though I didn't. Perhaps the reason I identified with that quote only now was because I actually knew the quote. But I must say that the book by Laura Hillenbrand was worth the read despite the few shocking parts (all pretty much contained in one chapter that mentioned a building of prostitutes but thankfully didn't go into any sensual details).
    And since I don't want to end on that note I'll mention that the next book I have my eyes on is Grace for the Good Girl. I finished One Thousand Gifts, and I'm thinking about doing a book review. I'm also really excited about the A Beautiful Mess app, which I really want to get! One last "event" is that I finally picked my guitar back up after months of not playing. I was pleased to find I could play most chords, transition well enough, and could even play some chords that I had found difficult before. I also just looked up how to transpose, and I finally got it! Well, until next time! Ta ta for now!

There's Only So Long One Can Stray From the Path Before They Lose It All Together

     When I do my devotions daily, I tend to live more fully for God. Makes sense: constant reminders and direction tend to keep us on the right path. Sometimes though, I drift away from my devotions for a few days. Then those few days become a week or so. And time keeps lengthening. In the first few days I'll feel a bit of guilt, always meaning to get around to them. Then the guilt is slowly forgotten, but there's still a miserable feeling that I usually shrug off as having to do with something else. Deep down, though, I know that miserable feeling is because I'm not actively seeking God but rather drifting away.
     Likewise, once I slow down on giving thanks and being content, I become discontent and miserable. Giving thanks brings joy, as does living for God. Thursday was a day that God brought me back, thankfully. I had been writing off my miserableness as being from the rain (which is indeed very miserable), but there was another reason I was miserable: I hadn't done devotions in almost a week. Awful, right! In the past I wouldn't have thought much about it, but this time, I wasn't going down without a fight. Due to an upcoming missions trip, we have to do devotions everyday. After a few weeks, it really makes a difference to take even one day off.
     I've learned that there are times where we have to choose what we want or what God wants for us. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we always want what God wants for us, but often we let ourselves follow different directions. Doing devotions daily, responding in love to my siblings every time, honoring and obeying my parents. Those are all things that I struggle with daily. It's hard to make the right choice every time, but it really makes a difference to be trying or not trying.
     This day I reflected on a lot of things. Funny enough, I wrote for number 109, "Reflections, they're beautiful". At the time I was talking about reflections on water, but life reflections are beautiful too. Often times the results of them are far more beautiful if you let them change you.

April 11, 2013
105. A flooded back yard
106. Rings forming on the water with every drop of water off the trees into the massive puddle (aka a mini pond) in our backyard
107. Big, black birds hunting for worms in the backyard. Suddenly, the light catches their feathers around their necks and a beautiful blue appears before my eyes
108. A great, big strawberry. The first bite always reminds me of summer
109. Reflections, they're beautiful
110. A father that reprimands me and points out my flaws and points me towards God's Word
111. A mother that keeps trudging, even when she feels like quitting because it's so hard
112. For the awful feeling when I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, when I've ignored God too long, or when I'm slipping back into my old way of life or haven't been actively seeking God. That awful, sick feeling brings me back to seeking God because there is only ever one things to do: read the Bible. Life has so much more meaning when I seek God's will and to live a life in obedience and honor of Him, sometimes I forget, I wander down a path of not doing my devotions and then not caring and getting depressed. Getting back in God's Word is always what I know I need to do. It's nice coming back, and I have to thank God for the Holy Spirit which provides that awful, guilty feeling when I start to stray.
113. The Holy Spirit
114. Reminder that this journal is keeping track of what I first offer thanks to God. I pray I keep that the focus and keep giving God the thanks (for everything)
115. My mom's modest whisper, "Oops, scuse me. That might smell." after her quiet, airy fart
116. Laughter with my mom (see above incident)
117. I have put my life in the hands of a beautiful God. His power and the awe I have in the face of his creation. I serve a mighty God.

Where Does The Focus Lay?

     Wednesday was yet another rainy, dreary day for the most part. As days continue to be so miserable, it becomes harder and harder to find things to give thanks for. Despite waking up early, there were only a few things I took note of this day. Most occurred before lunch, after lunch I was tired and unfocused. However, the day was a fairly pleasant day, just not one that is described well. There weren't many specifics to the day, it just went by normally. It wasn't really a bad day at all, quite pleasant really. This day was hard to focus on being thankful and joyful in everything, but the end of the day was great. Youth group went really well. Okay, it went the same as usual, but today it was really obvious that we are all growing. As a whole, our youth group really wants to follow God. It's pretty amazing. That night kind of brought my focus back. Thankful for that. :) As for the whole day, here's the small list of things I could pinpoint to be thankful for.

April 10, 2013
100. Watching the sky turn from dark to light in the morning. :)
101. Watching hail bounce off the deck into the air two feet high!
102. Noticing the grass is getting greener, must be all the rain ;)
103. Knowing exactly what to eat for lunch, it's a great feeling and leads to a great lunch :)
104. A youth group that is striving to be more Godly, to follow the Spirit, and dig in deep in the Bible

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       I'm apparently not very good at doing daily posts. I would still like to write about each day separately though and will try my best to keep up.

Rushing, Upset, and Turn Arounds

     Today began horribly. I awoke to the information that I needed to be completely ready in 25 minutes. I also needed to use all the water I would use for the day in that time since people were coming to put in a new water system. How chaotic of a morning! At first I was upset, and perhaps rightly so, however after I was ready with the basics of the morning being dressed, brushed, and ironing done, I found myself pleasantly awake with time to spare. My anger had turned into thanksgiving for God having the water guys come earlier than expected. I realized I never would have worked as fast if the morning hadn't gone as it had. I would have slept in horribly late, felt miserable and potentially grumpy all day, and not get as much done as I did since I had to get up earlier. As it turned out I got some homework done before we left to go shopping.
     We went to Morgan's Boutique in Holly, Mi. The place was fairly good. Everything was roughly $8-15 from shirts to dresses. Therefore, the dresses were a great price, and the shirts sometimes not. The whole time we were shopping I felt disgruntled and unhappy, like we weren't being productive or I should have been alone or something. I couldn't quite place a finger on. The day got better though, and I ended up enjoying the day quite a bit. Here are the things that I found reason to be thankful for. Even now, they brighten my day. :)

April 4, 2013


I got these super cute leather boots while
shopping for just $10! They were one of
 those things I've always wanted
 and now have. 

27. Awkenings to find out the hot water guy will be here earlier than expected, in fact in 25 minutes, and we have to use all the water we're going to use for the day in that time. At first I was upset and frazzled, but I realized my quick awakening got me up earlier and ready faster. :)
28. Leftover taco soup being used as tomato soup for our grilled cheese. This meant I actually ate the soup left after dipping my sandwich in it. Loved it! Practically two meals in one: taco soup and grilled cheese.
29. Shadows and fun stories with them, like the narwhale (a bowl with a spoon in it) killing and eating my water bottle. My sister, Carris, is so crazy. :)
30. Sisters to sing songs with in the car
31. Shopping for pretty dresses
32. Ice cream with Mom and Kagen
33. Great deals, finding treasures, and checking off things I've always wanted (and now have)!

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       I also really enjoyed a walk to the library and then a walk to Subway with Kagen. And of course my BLT foot long was delicious. ;) This is another post written and put up late. Do forgive me :)

Pure Joy in Giving Thanks Everyday

     For some months this blog has been left without any posts. I suppose I adored the name, but didn't quite know where I to take it. Every time I thought of a blog, A Beautiful Mess popped into my head. However, I knew I wasn't ready for that level of commitment considering I still have loads of school work to get through. Not to mention I most recently got a job! (I'll talk more about that later.) I've fiddled with ideas concerning fashion, crafts, book reviews, and thousands more (perhaps not that many! read ten or so more). Most of them were things I'd like to do but don't really do often, like art. I needed something that pertained to my life now and wouldn't involve crazy levels of commitment.
     It's obviously taken a while, but I believe I have found what I want to do with this blog. You see when I think of a good book and a cup of tea I think of pure bliss. Sunshine wafts down to a worn, wood table while I sit there quietly sipping my tea and marveling in God's creation. I see the beauty of the morning as the sun rises majestically over the forest behind our backyard. The vision usually has me wearing a cozy sweater on a chilly day, but that's not what I've come to realize is the part that makes this dream so wonderful. It is the quiet time with God and just listening and seeing and being in complete and total awe of the beauty of his creation.
     For about a year now I have held the small things in life in high regard. I believe it is that part of life which makes us who we are. For me it is the way I have always loved to listen to the birds singing outside my window. How I marvel at God's creation: the sky, clouds, trees, the moon, stars, snow, fall leaves, the first flower to bloom in spring outside our front door, and water trickling along in a river. Yes, it is the small things I love: cloud watching on a summer day, making dandelion wishes, driving down the dirt roads with the windows rolled down to let the wind toss and pull my hair.
     Always those little things in life have made me smile. I have loved praising God for his creation, but I never thought to give thanks for each of those small things: the cookies baking in the oven, the sweet taste of bagels, sunlight shining bright in the morning. Lately I have been reading one thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp, and it has taught me so much in these past few days. Giving thanks for those small things in life that often go unnoticed brings such fulfillment. It slows down time, makes me live in the moment (something I'm awful at), and brings joy and contentment. When I give thanks for the small things in the day, they mean so much more for now they are a way to glorify and honor God. The following verse says to give God thanks. I put two different versions because I liked the wording of one and the other helped me better understand the verse, especially concerning the second line.

 

Psalm 50:23

ESV "The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me:

to one who order his way rightly

I will show the salvation of God!"

 

NIV "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me,

and prepares the way

so that I may show him the salvation of God."

 

      I have resolved to make my own list of one thousand gifts God has given me in a day to day lifestyle of giving thanks. I will post them each day or at least the next morning in hopes that you too will learn to live a full life of thanksgiving, though truly I suppose I do this for myself. I am keeping a notebook of it, but I hope that this holds a bit more reliability. I suppose I think, no, I know that this blog is perfect for the small insights of my days at the small things which I can be thankful for.

      Perhaps occasionally I will have other posts on top of my daily thanksgiving of the small things, but the basis of this blog, for now, will be little lists of what I noticed during the day and gave thanks for. Other posts that may show up on this blog: what I'm doing, latest events in my life, my attempts (and hopefully successes) at cooking, crafts and art projects that I happen to make, things God is teaching me, book reviews, studies on Jane Austen girls and/or guys, and other small inconsistent things. The one consistent part of this blog will be thankfulness. I hope you'll jump on to watch this crazy life and be encouraged yourself or just to get to know me. :) Below follow the first three things I am thankful for that I wrote before beginning this journey but was dying to include on the list.

 

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       February 2, 2013 (some time ago right! but that night was so amazing!) Here follows word for word what I wrote down that day, grammatical errors, stupid word choices, and all!

Things I am thankful for:

1. I can see the moon, the beautiful orange moon resting on the horizon nestled between the scarce tree branches on this cold, winter day.

2. There is still snow to walk on, though it hugs the fence and the bases of trees, it is there: cold and crunchy, there to hold my footprints. All the yard is bare, a mudfield, save that snow God saved for me while I paced in the backyard with the cold nipping at my nose, praising God and reveling in His creation, in Nature.

3. I am God's daughter, and I can live for Him. I am able to inherit all the graces of a loving, Christian woman. He is my rock and my salvation and His Word is the spring I go to each day for life.

 

(Today's list will probably appear tomorrow morning or late tonight, for the day is nowhere near done!)