The most exciting moment of today was taking a bike ride, and right when we got home, the hard winds started blowing. Seconds after I got up the stairs into my room the storm hit. Great gusts of wind sending the rain in crazy directions, whirling around in spirals all over the place. It was beautiful to view from my window, but I'm so glad we missed it in our bike ride, though rather narrowly! The rest of the day went well. My mom went grocery shopping and brought home all sorts of yummy, healthy foods.
I also had a break through with my reluctance to help Kaity. Almost every time I'm asked to help Kaity I dread it a bit. Most of the time I never think of helping when not asked, but I have in the past a few times. Then there are times where I know someone needs to step in, and I don't want to be that person. Only thing is, sometimes I'm the only person that can step into the middle of a fight and start helping Kaity. It's hard, really, really hard, to get involved when I don't want to, when a fight is happening. Most of the times I ignore it, but this morning God kept saying "You are the only one that can help this right now, so get up and go do it. Building relationships is more important than an extra half hour of sleep." So what could I do but get up.
I didn't want to. Oh no. I wanted to ignore it all and sleep. You see, I had no idea how in the world I would handle Kaity when she's screaming and mad and grumpy at everyone. I totally had to trust God that he would help me respond in a Christ-like manner. In the end, all smoothed over, though I did mess up a few times by yelling at my mom (I was upset that she was yelling, though that's no excuse. I felt awful about it after).
Later that day, when the kids got home, things went downhill fast! My mom was at conferences, which meant we were in charge of Kaity. The quick version of the story is that Kaity didn't want to do her homework and no amount of coaxing or promises could get her to leave the TV. I quickly became frustrated and angry. I let it out, it all out. Oh it was so awful! I wondered where was that patience I had had earlier in the morning! I couldn't hold myself in. And then after I gave up on her, more correctly properly removed myself from the situation, I heard Carris back talk Mom (later when Mom had gotten home). All those times she's done it have upset me, and I let them build up and that day let it loose when Mom left. Arg, it was bad.
When Mom came home she left the house with Kaity to have the girl work on her homework away from everyone else. After apologizing to Carris (I apologized to Kaity too), Dad took the four of us to dinner. That whole evening I just felt like killing whoever talked to me (yah, it was bad). Eventually I calmed down and enjoyed dinner a bit. :) Especially the display of my incredibly dorky dad. I think the part I was most upset about the day was that I couldn't control a situation, but I think I've learned to let go and let God control it. I can't do anymore than respond in a Christ-like way. I can't blow up like I did. I need to have patience and wait for the other person to calm down, and I need to just keep responding in love even when someone else is blowing up or seriously ticking me off. So today I learned there are times to get involved and times to stay out of it.
April 18, 2013
208. Just catching the warm, breezy weather before a storm, a really big storm
209. Went for a bike ride in nice weather. I realized I better soak up all the good weather now before its blistering hot and over 100 degrees
210. The sound of crazy strong wind blowing in a storm
211. Being focused on homework
212. Getting over the hatred of doing something and doing it because I know I need to. Once I do that I can attack the situation with the right attitude. It works miracles, seriously. Lately I have been slowly getting myself to help with Kaity even when I don't want to or more, when I'm not asked. This morning she and Mom were fighting about her getting ready. All I wanted to do was stay out of it, despite knowing I could be of assistance. When I did get my butt out of bed and help, everything instantly smoothed over and proceeded to finish up quickly. How is it that I'm good at something I hate doing? Lately, I've been learning to come with the right attitude and to come. The rest I leave up to God, and honestly, I need His help with the attitude too. haha I'm just so thankful to be doing/ behaving right in at least one relationship in my life all because I've taken to heart what God wants of me.
213. Seeing the change (a positive one) in my relationship with Kaity.
214. Celery with peanut butter
215. Mom coming home with all sorts of yummy food (she got hummus and almonds and chai tea!)
216. Really quick storms. One minute dark and strong winds, pounding rain, rolling thunder, and lightening: five (or ten) minutes later and there are bright skies, soaring birds, and light clouds, and no rain. so cool.
217. Flickering lights due to storm (probably wires shaking)
218. Cute pictures drawn by Carris
219. Dinner at Pizza Hut with Dad, Kagen, and Carris
220. Pizza Hut breadsticks in marinara sauce
221. An embarrassingly dorky dad (haha)
222. Diet Pepsi